It’s been an eye-opening week to say the very least. My first live, parent-session meant more challenges than I anticipated. My mission with this business has been to make a better world for my children and my patients through education. I am tired of hearing about yet another sexual assault on the radio. I don’t want another child vulnerable to inappropriate advances because no one told them about sex and that their body belongs to them. I want to end the stigma and shame that stops people from accessing health care for small problems before they become massive, life-altering problems. I don’t want people to change their gender because they don’t fit into the preconceived ideas about how someone with certain genitals should behave! I want everyone to be who they are and live to their best potential in whatever way makes them happy. I’m tired of the inequity and devaluation of half of the population. I want better for EVERYONE. This is my dream, this is my mission.
Sexual Health is fundamental to overall health. Children especially, have the right to sexual health education as they are vulnerable members of our society. They deserve to know the rights of their body, the function of their body and how to keep that body safe. WHO and UNESCO agree that children have the right to this information:
According to the current working definition, sexual health is:
“…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.” (WHO, 2006a)
So I ask you…how is a child robbed of innocence by learning about the names and functions of ALL of their body parts? Why does understanding the mechanics of reproduction (how babies are formed and grown) and knowing only adults make babies subsequently equal the end of innocence? Wouldn’t it make sense that arming them with this information ensures they stay a child by understanding that only adults engage in this kind of activity? Would a loving parent who avoided any discussions of sex or the word ‘erection’ still argue they protected their child’s innocence when their child is sexually abused by someone (who is more likely to be very close to them)?? Are they still protecting the innocence of a child when after that child was abused, the child knew nothing about how wrong sexual contact was because the subject was avoided and shroud in so much shame the child didn’t feel able to disclose what happened to them?
The Canadian Centre for Child Protection report the following: (https://www.protectchildren.ca/en/resources-research/understanding-child-sexual-abuse/)
- According to research, 1 in 10 Canadians reported being sexually victimized before they turned 18.
- In the majority of child sexual abuse cases, the offender was known to the child.
- The majority of adult survivors of child sexual abuse report that they did not disclose the abuse to anyone when they were children.
- 93% of child abuse cases are never brought forward to police or child welfare.
- There are strong connections between child abuse and mental health conditions.
I would argue that by depriving children of knowledge about what their body parts are called, how they function, how they came to be in this world and their right to keep their body safe, you deprive them of the opportunity to maintain their innocence. Giving them information empowers them to understand their body and the control they have over it to stay innocent for a very long time. Otherwise we are leaving them vulnerable to someone else’s idea of what they can and should do with their body.
Religious ideology appears to be driving some of this myth in my community. However, faith-based authors call parents to action by talking to their children early and often about sexuality as it applies to scriptures. See this link: https://www.intoxicatedonlife.com/christians-object-early-sex-education-im-totally-fine/ These beliefs do not have to be at odds with one another. Our body is a beautiful and an amazing gift given to us on the day of our birth; surely knowing all about it, helps us marvel at the wonder of our own miraculous creation.
The earlier we start talking, the more commonplace a topic becomes. When we drive it into the darkness this is where unfortunate behaviours flourish. When we keep it in the light, we have control over where information comes from, keeping it scientific, factual and value-based. Sex is everywhere, but not in the way we always want it to be. So let’s take control of it, lets open the conversation and ensure nothing festers in the shadows anymore. The more knowledge and control children have over their body, the more protected they are from anyone who would do them harm. That’s how I’m going to keep protecting the innocence of the children in my community, by ensuring they are not ignorant about their sexual wellness!!