Recently I was lucky enough to teach the teachers at my children’s elementary school. It was a really eye opening experience as I initially visited the library to review what books were available for the students to access when exploring sexual health content (such as body parts, reproduction or even puberty). I was disappointed and shocked (although I shouldn’t have been) to find no books on the shelves about body parts or puberty for the students to peruse themselves. This raised several issues for me as a parent and as an educator. Firstly, there are some books apparently available for teachers to use as an aide memoire, but these books aren’t available for students to look at themselves. If students are unable to access this content in the library where further independent study can flourish, then where are they to look…unfortunately it’s the internet. I do accept, some families are less keen for children to access some content such as reproduction (particularly if sexual intercourse is discussed). However, the fact that we don’t even allow books to help them learn the correct names for body parts is depriving them of bodily autonomy and education to protect themselves!
Children have the right to know about their bodies and to understand how their body works. It’s so fascinating books about their reproductive system (which is an equally important part of their biological systems) are so sparse. A quick look at the book section in Walmart revealed a biology book for kids covering every system EXCEPT Reproduction. These omissions are sending messages without saying a thing; reproductive health is not something to know or to discuss. No wonder people have so much shame and embarrassment seeking help for very legitimate problems involving their reproductive health! I can’t tell you how many patients I’ve seen concerned about how their body is functioning and describe very normal physiological responses with fear (ie: vaginal discharge changes normally throughout a cycle)!!
Back to books: there are a variety of children’s resources that deliver this information without having to open the rabbit hole of the mechanics of reproduction (which all children are very curious about and deserve to learn about anyway). Many are fairly gendered books, but either way, I’d rather have some information than no information at all!
There are so many books out there, here are some I managed to pick some up from my local library:
‘Amazing You’ by Dr Gail Saltz is a gendered book about the correct names for private parts. I wish they used vulva but they did use labia instead of vagina, so it’s good enough. There is reference to intercourse (ie: when a man loves a woman, they decide they want to have a baby, the sperm joins with the egg) but there is no mention of intercourse or erections. This helps the squeamish to avoid discussions about sex, but I’m sure a curious child would ask how a sperm and an egg got together. Either way, it’s a simple book about private parts, touching them only in private, what babies are made of, where they grow and how they’re born.
Anything by Robie Harris, ‘Who Has What?’, leading then into ‘What’s in There?: All about before you were born’ or ‘It’s So Amazing‘ are hilariously illustrated. Details are given about anatomy, reproductions, sexual orientation, relationships, abuse and consent. Peruse any of these books to see which fits best with where you’re at.
‘What Makes a Baby?’ by Cory Silverberg is a great book which is very inclusive using the building blocks of humans (sperm and egg) who carry their stories within themselves until they combine to make a new story. There is mention of putting sperm and egg together but this book does not mention the how, just the where the sperm and egg need to combine (the uterus) and the new tiny thing grows into a baby. So simple and so effective while colourful and fun.
‘Boys, Girls & Body Science’ by Meg Hickling is gendered using boys and girls but very science-based. Discussing anatomy and reproduction, Hickling talks about sex but specifies this happens within the rules of your family. It’s a great book with good cartoon pictures
‘My Body is Growing; A guide for children ages 4-8’ by Dagmar Geisler tries to attack gender stereotypes by reviewing a class of kids and exploring their talents. Geisler talks about consent and explains a scenario of abuse with an uncle to highlight children’s right to say no. The book reviews puberty, love, relationships and babies. I like how Geisler challenges the stereotypes of boys and girls and uses different scenarios for different touch appropriateness. It’s just a lot to cover in one book for this age.
‘Sex is a funny word’ by Cory Silverberg is a fantastic, inclusive, colourfully illustrated book talking about the various definitions of sex and how to talk about it. It makes space for non-binary and explains it all beautifully. It’s a big book, but covers a lot. It’s a great book!
‘The Every Body Book’ by Rachel E. Simon is a wonderfully inclusive book for the intermediate age. Pictures show same gendered people of more diverse backgrounds. It covers all the good stuff and with inclusivity in mind. I personally think this should be on every parents’ shelf as their child becomes curious about puberty and relationships even if you are not a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Making inclusive communities is learning inclusive content.
‘You Do You’ by Sarah Mirk is a fantastic book for preteens but more directed at teens. It’s inclusive and easily digestible. Readers can skip to relevant sections or go chapter by chapter. I really, really love this book and how simple but expansive it is. It covers everything but concisely and excellently.
‘Doing it!’ by Hannah Witton is more for the teen or young adult reader. Witton uses their own experiences to inject exploration of sexual health education. They start with healthy relationships and move on from there to cover all the essentials with thought provoking scenarios.
‘Sex the all-you-need-to-know sexuality guide to get you through your teens and twenties’ by Heather Corinna. Just like the title, it’s verbose but it has all the content in there and is appropriate for teens and twenties readers. There’s a lot covered in this book and it was referenced for reading in my sexual health educator course, it’s just….A LOT! The shorter, graphic novel version of this book is:
‘Wait, WHAT?’ by Heather Corinna is a fantastic graphic novel format perfect for pre-teens and teens. Skip to content, it’s inclusive, it’s brief and covers all the good stuff.
I could keep going with more books, but explore your library or your local book stores to see what’s available. Review books yourself and then discover what books align with your beliefs and bring them for use at home. Just give your children the ways and means to explore this independently and with accurate content. They deserve to know about this very important part of themselves and their lives even if you don’t want to be the one to discuss it directly!!